Jokes :D! Or just plain fun :D.

Its so... boring.. or really.. dead quiet ! So i decided to lighten up the mood with something i found hilarious XD! So a friend of mine sent me a picture of a mates kid 'drawing'.

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I got plenty more, so lets take turns to share something funny !

rofl...
Don't you love how kids are so damn innocent...

A recent drawing:

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Lol. Didn't know the colonel worked out...

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I love those motivator things!

WAIT WAIT! RAPE is such a 'harsh' word. Try using, agressive smex, or aggrevated smexual actions!

Try this joke out !

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Speaking of rape...

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This is a part of a scare tatic ad to prevent binge drinking. The man of course did survive the ordeal, however no matter how much questioning he underwent he still states that he 'did not remember a thing'.

Click if you dare..

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I will never drink.

Speaking of elephants...

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I love misunderstandings, don't you?

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Ren is fat! (Ren thinks your chubby too)

it works

but here's something better

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Here is one of a few jokes I know in english. I hope I tell it right. ^^

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Ok, here's one I know. A bit long, but worth it

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REN I AM SO NOT CHUBBY DON'T MAKE ME BEAT YOU!

LAWL SHINOBI! THATS SO FUNNY XD! *coughz*

Believe in series of unfortunate events? (open them from top to bottom, in order)

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It couldn't be any worse

I saw that come. XD

Here is another one:
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan
officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a
new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,
she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its
officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000
Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then
proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked
out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we
checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles
us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blond replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

LOL blayce! Thats like the funniest blonde joke i've heard XD!

But is anyone able to understand these (some are pretty funny if you understand the situation)

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Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

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In a Podiatrist's office:

'Time wounds all heels.'

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At a Proctologist's door:

'To expedite your visit, please back in.'

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On a Plumber's truck:

'We repair what your husband fixed.'

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On another Plumber's truck:

'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

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On a Church's Bill board:

'7 days without God makes one weak.'

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

'Invite us to your next blowout.'

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At a Towing company:

'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'

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On an Electrician's truck:

'Let us remove your shorts.'

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In a Nonsmoking Area:

'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

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On a Maternity Room door:

'Push. Push. Push.'

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At an Optometrist's Office:

'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

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On a Taxidermist's window:

'We really know our stuff.'

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On a Fence:

'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

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At a Car Dealership:

'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

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Outside a Muffler Shop:

'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

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At the Electric Company

'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be.'

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In a Restaurant window:

'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

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At a Propane Filling Station:

'Thank heaven for little grills.'

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CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

'Best place in town to take a leak.'

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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:


'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'

Here is something I saw on a church door:
"Come in. Fairytales an Music inside."

And another joke even if it is the false saison. ^^

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting
ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the
toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the
pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he
found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped
the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and
the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated,
Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid
the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration,
he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of
little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and
found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the
doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.

He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa.
Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it
just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.

FAR I NEARLY CRIED ><

Heres one

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Yeah that's funny untill your wife drops you in the middle of town. XD

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where
their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in
looking tired and somber. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,"
he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for
your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an
experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for
the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a
great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain
cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200
for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried
not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually
smirked.

A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question
everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire
group said,
"It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the
price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

OH NOES! LAWL! Talking about brains we could use them for WORK! But is it really all they say it is?

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Irish Air Disaster - 29th Mai 2008

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small
two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in
central Ireland.

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies
so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the
night...

Omg on the topic of planes, people should really bail out like this dude !

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Best part of being a guy!
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Some are jokes but some others are true. XD